WEEK 11.1 (MARCH 12-21) – THE MONKEY TRAP
“My mom would often tell us as children, ‘if you don’t have anything positive to say, it would is better to say nothing at all.’ Well, this applies to the voice in our head as well. You are already stuck with yourself for lifetime, why not improve and heal the relationship. Tonight we are going in search of a deeper acceptance of self and cultivating self-love. If you had a person in your life treating you the way you often treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago, so why do we still allow negative self-talk leading to negative thinking in our own heads. Let us learn tonight to be more curious about ourselves and less judgmental.” – David Scott
The monkey trap
“Anything that you have to control, controls you.” – Guy Finley
There are many variations to this story, but it’s quite instructive. In South America, Africa and Asia, the natives have devised a very effective method of trapping monkeys. The plan is deceptively simple: the natives take a gourd or some similar object and drill a hole just large enough for a monkey’s hand to pass through; they add some extra weight to the gourd with sand or pebbles, then put a nut or some fruit inside and place the gourd where a monkey will find it.
Here’s what happens: the monkey sticks his hand through the hole to get the food — but with the prize in its grasp, the monkey cannot get its hand back out. The hole is too small for the monkey’s hand to pass through so long as it’s holding the treat, and the gourd is too heavy for the creature to carry. Because the monkey will not let go of its prize, it becomes trapped. The animal gives up its freedom to hold on to a small piece of food.
It seems obvious that all the monkey needs to do is let go of the bait and it can escape. But because it views the treat as its possession and is not willing to let go, the monkey is trapped. It loses its freedom.
It’s easy for us to see how foolish it is to keep holding something that really isn’t worth much. The monkey is making a very poor trade-off: his freedom for a prize that wouldn’t be that difficult to find in a less threatening location. But the animal is blinded by its attachment to the treat.
The monkey is acting out of instinct; it probably doesn’t have the ability to recognize the danger of grasping the bait — or the fact that such behavior will have a dramatic impact on its future. But humans should be able to avoid falling into such a trap. We should be able to understand the danger of holding on to things that don’t serve us well. We should realize when we’re creating traps for ourselves.
Unfortunately, most of the traps in life are those we create for ourselves. We hold on for dear life to things that don’t serve us well. We hold on to past mistakes; we cling to the privilege of being right; we won’t let go of anger and resentment; we become attached to material things that are of little value; and we often put our attachment to possessions ahead of our own well-being.
If you’re going to find happiness in life, you need to examine what you hold. Take a close look at the attachments in your life. Do you place more importance on things outside of yourself than on things inside you? The more important something is in your life, the more you become attached to it. If what you treasure is outside yourself — that is, other things or other people — then you risk being trapped by those bonds.
You have the ability to choose your treasures in life. You need to examine your life to determine if you’re being trapped by the things you treasure.
If we’re attached to things, we are restricted. Only by letting go can we be free.
“Being happy doesn’t mean you have it all. It simply means you’re thankful for all you have.” David Scott
“I am rooted but I flow, I am grounded but I bend. I am deep but my worries are shallow. My dreams and hopes are limitless, but I am content where I stand. What I own is meaningless, how little I truly need allows me the freedom and lightness to fly. Never intent on arriving, it is the journey where I explore my passions. I have the heart of the yogi and the wisdom inspired by the Buddha.” – David Scott
“There is no need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.” – Kathryn Budig
“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.” ~ Alan Cohen
Why you do Yoga?, What you wish to gain from Yoga? But more importantly, What do you wish to leave behind?”
“The most important part that happens during a yoga class, is not what happens outside the body, but what happens inside the body.” David Scott
“Remember the entrance to the sanctuary is inside you.” – Rumi
“Yoga is a light, which once lit will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter your flame.” — B.K.S. Iyengar
Tonight be curious and not judgmental with yourself.
Yoga teaches us to create a life that feels good on the inside and not just the outside.
“Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self.”– The Bhagavad Gita
“Yoga is a dance between control and surrender – between pushing and letting go – and when to push and to let go becomes part of the creative process, part of the open-ended exploration of your well-being.” –Joel Kramer
Self Acceptance…
“The first step in this process of mindfulness is radical self-acceptance.” – Stephen Batchelor.
“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.” – Shannon L. Alder.
“Nothing brings down walls as surely as acceptance.” – Deepak Chopra.
“What self-acceptance does is open up more possibilities of succeeding because you aren’t fighting yourself along the way.” – Shannon Ables.
“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations of perfection.” – Michael J. Fox.
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” – Lao Tzu.
“Instead of trying to mend me, I decided to enjoy me. Instead of trying to solve me, I decided to discover me. It was one of the best decisions of my life.” – S.C. Laurie.
“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining, is to let it rain.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (The Poet’s Tale; The Birds of Killingworth)
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
“Learn to dress yourself, so you no longer need to wear the opinions of others to define you,” – David Scott
Self Love
“I am not looking to escape my darkness, I am learning to love myself there.” – Rune Lazuli.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” -Buddha.
“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” – Veronica A. Shoffstall.
“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” – Brené Brown.
“Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.” – George R. R. Martin.
“In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.” – Andrea Dykstra.
“The only love you should desperately search for, is the one that comes from you to you.” – Edmond Mbiaka.
“When your own approval means more than the approval of others, that is self-love.” – Vironika Tugaleva.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“I don’t have to be perfect. All I have to do is show up and enjoy the messy, imperfect and beautiful journey of my life.” – Kerry Washington.
“If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” – Mary Engelbreit.